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Пример IELTS эссе. Тема Change

ielts эссе

Cегодня обсудим и разберем еще один пример IELTS эссе, на этот раз на тему Change, а также поделаем упражнения на связность текста и словообразование.

Если занимаетесь английским самостоятельно, очень рекомендую не просто пролистать, а сделать упражнения самим. Понимание принципов построения текста и умение манипулировать формами слов дает огромный простор для маневра. И, конечно, в итоге улучшает навыки написания эссе – не только в IELTS, но и любых других.

Преподавателю на заметку: ровно то же самое можно использовать на своих уроках. И это полезно не только тем, кто собирается сдавать IELTS. Правда, уровень все же должен быть соответствующим - не ниже Intermediate. 


IELTS эссе. Тема Change

Итак, тема IELTS эссе у нас нынче такая:

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing.

Discuss both these views and give your opinion.




Сегодня я не буду документировать мыслительный процесс, который привел к такому эссе. Предварительные заметки и способы составления плана сочинения мы уже видели в предыдущем  посте об IELTS эссе.

Еще в этот раз я, коварная, не дам сразу готовое эссе. Сконструируем его сами из готовых, но перепутанных предложений. Возможен только один вариант текста. Почему так категорично? Потому что главное качество грамотно написанного текста/эссе – связность. Одно ведет к другому мысль невозможно прокрутить назад  и тесно переплетено друг с другом:  внутри предложения, между предложениями, между параграфами.

IELTS эссе состоит из 4 параграфов:

  • Вступление
  • Параграф - первая точка зрения
  • Параграф - вторая точка зрения
  • Заключение

Перетаскиванием предложений составьте связное и логичное эссе IELTS:

  • If it had not been for innovations, we would still be living in caves and enjoying the stability of the Stone Age.
  • Some people believe that a certain amount of variation is necessary in order not to stagnate.
  • At the same time I believe that life is the synonym for continuous change, so resisting it is highly unproductive.
  • Following the same routine on a daily basis helps them to avoid distractions and focus on priorities.
  • I have to admit that any alterations might feel threatening.
  • However, people’s attitudes to change differ in many ways.
  • It can also be argued that minor changes, such as choosing a different route to work or a new sort of coffee every day, are as important as major ones.
  • These people value traditional approach and view it as a pre-requisite for stability and peace of mind.
  • Change is, undoubtedly, an essential part of life, and the humankind would not have evolved without it.
  • They point to the fact that all great inventions and breakthroughs once challenged traditional ways and transformed life for the better.
  • In conclusion, I personally think that, although it may be hard and uncomfortable at times, making changes is vital both for personal development and for the evolution of the human race.
  • This, in turn, provides an opportunity to develop and evolve as individuals.
  • These variations help people not to be taken over by routine ways of thinking and, more importantly, living.
  • On the other hand, change is regarded as an inconvenience by others.
Check


Прочитать эссе IELTS целиком.

Change is, undoubtedly, an essential part of life, and the humankind would not have evolved without it. However, people’s attitudes to change differ in many ways.

Some people believe that a certain amount of variation is necessary in order not to stagnate. They point to the fact that all great inventions and breakthroughs once challenged traditional ways and transformed life for the better. If it had not been for innovations, we would still be living in caves and enjoying the stability of the Stone Age. It can also be argued that minor changes, such as choosing a different route to work or a new sort of coffee every day, are as important as major ones. These variations help people not to be taken over by routine ways of thinking and, more importantly, living. This, in turn, provides an opportunity to develop and evolve as individuals.

On the other hand, change is regarded as an inconvenience by others. These people value traditional approach and view it as a pre-requisite for stability and peace of mind. Following the same routine on a daily basis helps them to avoid distractions and focus on priorities.

In conclusion, I personally think that, although it may be hard and uncomfortable at times, making changes is vital both for personal development and for the evolution of the human race. I have to admit that any alterations might feel threatening. At the same time I believe that life is the synonym for continuous change, so resisting it is highly unproductive.


Связность текста

А теперь займемся связностью текста (cohesion). Напомню на всякий случай, что средств связности текста – громадье. Есть грамматические, есть лексические. Сейчас из всего многообразия выберем тематические/лексические поля, местоимения, замену слов на one/ones. Остальное трогать не будем (союзы, артикли, эллипсис и др.).

Найдем в этом IELTS эссе слова и выражения, связанные со следующими понятиями:

Change

Stability

Important

Hard


Change is, undoubtedly, an essential part of life, and the humankind would not have evolved without it. However, people’s attitudes to change differ in many ways.

Some people believe that a certain amount of variation is necessary in order not to stagnate. They point to the fact that all great inventions and breakthroughs once challenged traditional ways and transformed life for the better. If it had not been for innovations, we would still be living in caves and enjoying the stability of the Stone Age. It can also be argued that minor changes, such as choosing a different route to work or a new sort of coffee every day, are as important as major ones. These variations help people not to be taken over by routine ways of thinking and, more importantly, living. This, in turn, provides an opportunity to develop and evolve as individuals.

On the other hand, change is regarded as an inconvenience by others. These people value traditional approach and view it as a pre-requisite for stability and peace of mind. Following the same routine on a daily basis helps them  to avoid distractions and focus on priorities.

In conclusion, I personally think that, although it may be hard and uncomfortable at times, making changes is vital both for personal development and for the evolution of the human race. I have to admit that any alterations might feel threatening. At the same time I believe that life is the synonym for continuous change, so resisting it is highly unproductive.


Вот и лексическая связность текста: мы используем синонимы и разнообразные способы перефразирования, избегаем ненужных повторов.

А явное наличие тематических полей доказывает то, что мы пишем по теме (вернитесь к формулировке задания и посмотрите, какие слова из каких тематических полей там), а не поменяли ее под шумок.

Теперь посмотрим на местоимения и замену слов на one/ones. Выберите из вариантов a, b, c нужное слово/фразу, к которой ведет местоимение (это называется pronoun referencing):


Change is, undoubtedly, an essential part of life, and the humankind would not have evolved without it.humankind;an essential part of life;change3
Some people believe that a certain amount of variation is necessary in order not to stagnate. They point to the fact that all great inventions and breakthroughs once challenged traditional ways...some variation;some people;traditional ways2
It can also be argued that minor changes, such as choosing a different route to work or a new sort of coffee every day, are as important as major ones.changes;route;coffee1
These variations help people not to be taken over by routine ways of thinking and, more importantly, living.changes;choosing a different sort of coffee or route;people2
This, in turn, provides an opportunity to develop and evolve as individuals.living;thinking;not being taken over by routine ways3
On the other hand, change is regarded as an inconvenience by others.other people;other variations;routine ways1
These people value traditional approach and view it as a pre-requisite for stability and peace of mind.change;traditional approach;stability2
Following the same routine on a daily basis helps them to avoid distractions and focus on priorities.stability and peace of mind;distractions;other people3
In conclusion, I personally think that, although it may be hard and uncomfortable at times, making changes is vital... making changes;avoiding distractions;following the same routine1
At the same time I believe that life is the synonym for continuous change, so resisting it is highly unproductive.change;life;the synonym1


Проверили себя? И для наглядности даже стрелочки нарисую, чтобы видно было, что к чему относится и куда ведет:

местоимения связность текста IELTS эссе


Итак, эти средства связности текста (тематические поля, синонимы, местоимения и слова one/ones) помогают избежать ненужных повторов слов и собрать текст в единое целое.

А еще то, что мы сейчас проделали, называется лингвистический анализ текста, если точнее – его часть.


Словообразование в английском языке

Теперь займемся метаморфозами. Попробуем перефразировать каждое предложение эссе, используя другую форму слова. Например, в оригинальном тексте:

Change is, undoubtedly, an essential part of life.

 А мы перефразируем undoubtedly и напишем:

Without a doubt, change is an essential part of life.

Здесь тоже все достаточно однозначно: разные части речи и формы одного слова могут находиться только в определенных структурах и позициях в предложении.

Перефразируйте предложения, изменяя форму слова на нужную:


1. Change is, undoubtedly, an essential part of life.

= Without a doubt, change is an essential part of life.

2. The humankind would not have evolved without it.

= The evolution of the humankind would have been impossible without it.

3. People’s attitudes to change differ in many ways.

= People have different attitudes to change.

4. A certain amount of variation is necessary in order not to stagnate.

= A certain amount of variation is necessary in order to avoid stagnation.

5. All great inventions and breakthroughs once challenged traditional ways and transformed life for the better.

= All great inventions and breakthroughs once challenged traditional ways and brought life-changing transformations.

Check




6. If it had not been for innovations, we would still be living in caves and enjoying the stability of the Stone Age.

= If it hadn’t been for innovative approaches, we would still be enjoying a stable life in caves.

7. Minor changes are as important as major ones.

= Minor changes possess the same degree of importance as major ones.

8. These variations help people not to be taken over by routine ways of thinking and, more importantly, living.

= These variations help people not to be taken over by routine ways of thinking and, what is more important, living.

9. This, in turn, provides an opportunity to develop and evolve as individuals.

= This, in turn, provides an opportunity for personal development and evolution.

10. Change is regarded as an inconvenience by others.

= Change is regarded to be inconvenient by others.

Check




11. These people value traditional approach and view it as a pre-requisite for stability and peace of mind.

= These people attach a great value to traditional approach and view it as a pre-requisite for stability and peace of mind.

12. Following the same routine on a daily basis helps them to avoid distractions and focus on priorities.

= Following the same routine every day helps them not be become distracted and, instead, focus on priorities.

13. It may be hard and uncomfortable at times.

= It may be hard and bring discomfort at times.

14. Any alterations might feel threatening.

= Any alterations might feel like a threat.

15. Resisting it is highly unproductive.

= Resistance is highly unproductive.

Check


 

Словообразование – тоже очень полезная штука. Из одного слова можно сделать несколько и свободно ими пользоваться. Можно менять структуру предложения, как вам заблагорассудится, и не ограничивать полет фантазии строгими рамками. Зачем менять структуру предложений? Снова по той же причине – чтобы избежать повторов. Только выше мы говорили про повторы слов, а сейчас про грамматические повторы, избыток которых смотрится невыигрышно и оценивается очень невысоко. То есть, такой например, фрагмент не получит высокого балла на IELTS:

Some people think that change is always positive. They believe that change brings multiple benefits. Others feel that change is a threat. They claim that change results in discomfort and confusion.

Несмотря на приличную лексику (за исключением повтора слова change) и правильную грамматику, все предложения написаны по одной модели.


Повторы и связность

Ну и напоследок, попробуем применить все, о чем мы говорили, на практике и прокачаем навыки письма IELTS эссе. Текст ниже – кошмарный кошмар, с которым нужно срочно что-то делать. Что именно? Переписать и избавиться от повторов – либо с помощью местоимений, либо синонимов, либо слов из того же тематического поля. Подсказка: нужные места зачеркнуты.


Change is, undoubtedly, an essential part of life, and the humankind would not have evolved without change it. However, people’s attitudes to change differ in many ways.

Some people believe that change a certain amount of variation is necessary in order not to stagnate. Some people They point to the fact that all great changes inventions and breakthroughs once changed challenged traditional ways and changed transformed life for the better. If it had not been for change innovations, we would still be living in caves and enjoying the stability of the Stone Age. It can also be argued that minor changes, such as choosing a different route to work or a new sort of coffee every day, are as important as major changes ones. These changes variations help people not to be taken over by routine ways of thinking and, more importantly, living. Not being taken over by routine ways of thinking and living This, in turn, provides an opportunity to develop and evolve as individuals.

On the other hand, change is regarded as an inconvenience by other people others. Other These people value traditional approach and view traditional approach it as a pre-requisite for stability and peace of mind. Following the same routine on a daily basis helps other people them to avoid distractions and focus on priorities.

In conclusion, I personally think that, although making changes it may be hard and uncomfortable at times, making changes is vital both for personal development and for the evolution of the human race. I have to admit that any changes alterations might feel threatening. At the same time I believe that life is the synonym for continuous change, so resisting change it is highly unproductive.

Check


Проверяем, радуемся собственным талантам))


Связки и клише для IELTS эссе

Можно еще посмотреть на союзы, связки и клише, пригодные для использования в других IELTS эссе подобного типа:


Change is, undoubtedly, an essential part of life, and the humankind would not have evolved without it. However, people’s attitudes to change differ in many ways.

Some people believe that a certain amount of variation is necessary in order not to stagnate. They point to the fact that all great inventions and breakthroughs once challenged traditional ways and transformed life for the better. If it had not been for innovations, we would still be living in caves and enjoying the stability of the Stone Age. It can also be argued that minor changes, such as choosing a different route to work or a new sort of coffee every day, are as important as major ones. These variations help people not to be taken over by routine ways of thinking and, more importantly, living. This, in turn, provides an opportunity to develop and evolve as individuals.

On the other hand, change is regarded as an inconvenience by others. These people value traditional approach and view it as a pre-requisite for stability and peace of mind. Following the same routine on a daily basis helps them to avoid distractions and focus on priorities.

In conclusion, I personally think that, although it may be hard and uncomfortable at times, making changes is vital both for personal development and for the evolution of the human race. I have to admit that any alterations might feel threatening. At the same time I believe that life is the synonym for continuous change, so resisting it is highly unproductive.



Преподавателям на заметку: это эссе и все упражнения по тренировке навыков письма, средств связности текста и словообразования можно скачать бесплатно и пользоваться на своих уроках:

ielts_essay_change_teachers_notes_1436096895.pdf

Подробнее о том, как научиться писать эссе IELTS, откуда брать идеи и как развивать навыки спонтанного мышления.

Подробнее о том, как улучшить свой балл за IELTS всего за одну неделю.

Автор: Дарья Масловская

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